Should you start off with a simple hello and see if you get a response? Should you wait until they take the dive first? If you want online dating to be successful, the first message is crucial. Imagine being the home team at a baseball game and you are up to bat. Do you let your fear and nerves get to you? You wait for the right pitch, swing your bat, and hope for the best.

My ex I met online. Whenever we would argue in the beginning she would activate her account and brag how many men were interested in her. This woman was.

I’ve ignored plenty of red flags — the huge warning signs that arise early in a relationship and indicate imminent doom. But I have learnt from my mistakes, and will pass my wisdom on. If I can save just one heart from being smashed into a million pieces, then my own sorry history will be worth it. This is a bizarrely common phenomenon.

Men tell you they’re separated, and that they’re ready to date, and then it transpires that they’re still living with their wife. That is not actually separation. Being separated involves living apart from one’s spouse. Aside from the obvious issue of whether the separation is actually going to take place, there are huge red flags in this situation.

Do you want a boyfriend who goes home to his ex every night? Do you want to be waiting and hoping for the separation to come through? What if his ex is unwilling to end it? Is the man even remotely ready for another relationship when he hasn’t yet dissolved the first? Are you prepared to go through the trauma and strain of his separation? I once dated an “almost separated” man and it was incredibly distressing.