Used to express admiration of a couple, the hashtag is popular among both singles and those in relationships. The use of the hashtag took off in when people started plastering it across social media. But what actually are relationship goals? The answer is, of course, that no couple is perfectly in love and happy at all times.

You’ve seen the hashtags all over social media: #relationshipgoals, alongside a cuddly couple watching a movie together, or a holding hands.

How many of you follow some type of relationship goals page on social media? They simply show you pictures of happy-looking couples, and you assume that their relationship is perfect. But what about what it really takes to build that kind of happiness? The truth is that social media has ruined what a healthy and happy relationship really looks like. More and more people are reporting that social media actually causes hardships in their relationships. Those photos of couples standing on a beach holding hands as the sun sets over a mountainous horizon are not what makes for a happy relationship.

These relationship goals are what you should have. This is what you should strive for when it comes to your significant other. Just think about what your grandparents valued in a relationship—those are the true relationship goals, and here are our top 15 favorites. Trust is the most important relationship goal that we all need, yet it is the most forgotten. Ultimate relationship goals include being able to openly speak your mind and tell your partner how you feel about anything.

In order to have a healthy and happy relationship, you have to feel safe and protected by your partner. If my boyfriend ever came to the conclusion that he would be happier with someone else, I would let him go.